For today only, my radiation session was moved to 7:00 a.m. This time slot actually worked out well because it gave me an early start to the day. I have been going to bed at the ungodly hours of 3:00 and 4:00 a.m. and waking up at noon, and have been trying to break out of this pattern.
When I returned back home this morning after Radiation Day 12, I spent several hours cooking, since it was my night to prepare dinner for my family. On the menu was: pumpkin soup, avocado salad with honey-mustard dressing, veggie burgers with a creamy sauce, sweet potato fries, bok choy and baked apples for dessert. All items were basically made from scratch, so the cooking took way too long, but the process was rather peaceful and soothing. Cooking can be unpleasant and stressful when there is little time to prepare, but today I didn't feel rushed and enjoyed the colours and textures of chopping and mixing and heating. For the burgers, I even made my own bread crumbs, since the only ones that I could find in stores were made with hydrogenated vegetable oil and other unhealthy products. I have always been extremely health-conscious, but have become even more so since I began radiation. (I have a long-standing theory that hydrogenated vegetable oil, a.k.a. vegetable oil shortening, is the personification of evil in western society, but that is a story for another time). I am acutely aware of the long-terms risk that are associated with radiation, which include breast cancer, heart disease and other delights. So I have ramped up my nutritional intake to include tons of leafy greens and a wide variety of fruits and vegetables.
Exercising has been another major focus, since it is really the only thing that I can do, along with eating and sleeping well, that may lower my chances of facing these side effects. Included in my exercise plan, as you may know from my past blogs, is yoga. Today I took a hot-yoga class (also known as bikram yoga) and invited along my sister-in-law and husband. The instructor was talented and intense and the positions were interesting and challenging - it always amazes my how many different ways our bodies can move.
I wore a high-necked t-shirt, but some of my radiation body-art showed through the neck and arms. I probably puzzled onlookers, but I didn't really care. Besides, the movements required concentration and focus, so there was little time for people to look around at each other. Which was a good thing. If I saw someone who looked like me before I was treated for cancer, I would not have a clue what the crosses were for, and might have suspected they were related to goth or part of a highly suspect religious movement. The whole process of treatment has made me less judgemental, since I now understand there are so many reasons why people look, act or speak the way they do. And this sentiment is reflected in the meditation exercises that accompany yoga. We are asked to observe ourselves without judgement, to simply take note of what we are thinking or how we are feeling. And that can only make us into more open, receptive and kind human beings.
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1 comment:
Your awesome.
It's amazing that by lying in a certain position during Yoga, and being suggested not to be judgmental, this can actually carry with us through the day and improve us. Totally agree. I connect your less judgmental view to exercise and a healthy diet - in particular, I find that less refined foods and meats makes people less stressed, and it really does change the way I look at people and what I say to myself in my head. In particular, because I am less stressed, I tend not to be as bothered or get as nervous when people invade my space - either physically or psychologically. I become at peace with a temporary invasion into my space. This leads to being less judgmental, because judgmental is merely a way of preserving oneself and one's beliefs.
on the topic of judgmental, I have also found that people see my judgmental eyes quite quickly - so for example, if I stare for a second too long at someone in the hospital, they feel that eyes are judging them. And so I have similarly learned not to judge people through staring at them, to stare at the ground in the hospital instead. One thing people in hospitals lose is privacy (how many times have you been asked your name in public, or to describe some crazy body pain with 25 sets of ears listening)... I think if you try to make an effort to show people you respect their space, they will like you.
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